July 19, 2014

1 history of everything

I was listening to Radiolab the other day, and heard the following short story by Jenny Hollowell. I can't stop thinking about how beautiful it is, and how much I love it. So I wanted to share it with you all.

PS If you would like to listen to the author read it, go here (this is the Radiolab episode that made me fall in love with it)!


A History of Everything, Including You
by Jenny Hollowell
First there was god, or gods, or nothing.
Then synthesis, space, the expansion, explosions, implosions, particles, objects, combustion, and fusion.
Out of the chaos came order, stars were born and shown and died.
Planets rolled across their gallaxis on invisible ellipses and the elements combined and became.
Life evolved or was created.
Cells trembled, and divided, and gasped and found dry land. Soon they grew legs, and fins, and hands, and antenna, and mouths, and ears, and wings, and eyes.
Eyes that opened wide to take all of it in, the creeping, growing, soaring, swimming, crawling, stampeding universe.
Eyes opened and closed and opened again, we called it blinking.
Above us shown a star that we called the sun.
And we called the ground the earth.
So we named everything including ourselves.
We were man and woman and when we got lonely we figured out a way to make more of us.
We called it sex, and most people enjoyed it.
We fell in love.
We talked about god and banged stones together, made sparks and called them fire, we got warmer and the food got better.
We got married, we had some children, they cried, and crawled, and grew.
One dissected flowers, sometimes eating the petals.
Another liked to chase squirrels.
We fought wars over money, and honor, and women.
We starved ourselves, we hired prostitutes, we purified our water.
We compromised, decorated, and became esoteric.
One of us stopped breathing and turned blue.
Then others.
First we covered them with leaves and then we buried them in the ground.
We remembered them.
We forgot them.
We aged.
Our buildings kept getting taller.
We hired lawyers and formed councils and left paper trails, we negotiated, we admitted, we got sick, and searched for cures.
We invented lipstick, vaccines, pilates, solar panels, interventions, table manners, firearms, window treatments, therapy, birth control, tailgating, status symbols, palimony, sportsmanship, focus groups, zoloft, sunscreen, landscaping, cessnas, fortune cookies, chemotherapy, convenience foods, and computers.
We angered militants, and our mothers.
You were born.
You learned to walk, and went to school, and played sports, and lost your virginity, and got into a decent college, and majored in psychology, and went to rock shows, and became political, and got drunk, and changed your major to marketing, and wore turtleneck sweaters, and read novels, and volunteered, and went to movies, and developed a taste for blue cheese dressing.
I met you through friends, and didn’t like you at first.
The feeling was mutual, but we got used to each other.
We had sex for the first time behind an art gallery, standing up and slightly drunk.
You held my face in your hands and said that I was beautiful.
And you were too.
Tall with a streetlight behind you.
We went back to your place and listened to the White Album.
We ordered in.
We fought and made up and got good jobs and got married and bought an apartment and worked out and ate more and talked less.
I got depressed.
You ignored me.
I was sick of you.
You drank too much and got careless with money.
I slept with my boss.
We went into counseling and got a dog.
I bought a book of sex positions and we tried the least degrading one, the wheelbarrow.
You took flight lessons and subscribed to Rolling Stone.
I learned Spanish and started gardening.
We had some children who more or less disappointed us but it might have been our fault.
You were too indulgent and I was too critical.
We loved them anyway.
One of them died before we did, stabbed on the subway.
We grieved. We moved.
We adopted a cat.
The world seemed uncertain, we lived beyond our means.
I got judgmental and belligerent, you got confused and easily tired.
You ignored me, I was sick of you.
We forgave.
We remembered.
We made cocktails.
We got tender.
There was that time on the porch when you said, can you believe it?
This was near the end and your hands were trembling.
I think you were talking about everything, including us.
Did you want me to say it?
So it would not be lost?
It was too much for me to think about.
I could not go back to the beginning.
I said, not really. And we watched the sun go down.
A dog kept barking in the distance, and you were tired but you smiled and you said, hear that?
It’s rough, rough.
And we laughed.
You were like that.
Now, your question is my project and our house is full of clues.
I’m reading old letters and turning over rocks.
I burry my face in your sweaters.
I study a photograph taken at the beach, the sun in our eyes, and the water behind us.
It’s a victory to remember the forgotten picnic basket and your striped beach blanket.
It’s a victory to remember how the jellyfish stung you and you ran screaming from the water.
It’s a victory to remember treating the wound with meat tenderizer, and you saying, I made it better. I will tell you this, standing on our hill this morning I looked at the land we chose for ourselves, I saw a few green patches, and our sweet little shed, that same dog was barking, a storm was moving in.
I did not think of heaven, but I saw that the clouds were beautiful and I watched them cover the sun.

Lurve,

M

PS Thank you to Chirinos Sanchez's blog for the above.

June 22, 2014

1 hello again

 ^^^Walter Walt's house!
^^^A1 carwash
^^^Walter White's tombstone.
^^^The Schrader's house

Hello blog I wanted to be wildly popular and is now the blog I update every three months or so! I've missed you! I just finished my second quarter of PA school, so I finally have time to update the kind readers I have left on what has been going on...

These pics are from when we first moved to Albuquerque and didn't know quite what to do with ourselves, so we went on our own little "Breaking Bad" tour. Most of this stuff is really close to our apartment, which is kind of weird. Even weirder, they recently started filming for "Better Call Saul" at a cafe that is literally right next to my school. A girl in my class even saw Mike! I don't have my fingers crossed to meet Bryan Cranston or Aaron Paul or anything, but it is kind of fun that I'm living in the area that they made famous.

Life has been good. D is adjusting to his job for the state of New Mexico, and I am finally starting to get in the rhythm of grad school. It has taken a lot of my time, but I have really enjoyed my classes so far and am hoping to enjoy the ones I have the future. They keep telling us that every semester just gets harder and harder, which I am sure is true. But I hope that I can still find myself liking what I am learning, and retaining it well for my future patients.

My classmates and I were talking and we all have had these moments where we realize we are ACTUALLY going to be PA's. It's really strange, because I have been talking about becoming a PA for a long time, but now it's happening. Like, I am slowly becoming a grown-up with a grown-up job, and that's weird and exciting and weird. Can I say weird again?

I am so glad we decided to move here. Things have been working out so well for us. Even though I miss my family and friends, D and I are really happy with this chapter of our lives.

Speaking of happy....my mother-in-law called me awhile ago and told me to sit down because SHE GOT US TICKETS FOR SDCC 2014! I am soooo excited! It has been on my bucket list to go to SDCC for awhile. I envisioned going crazy and dressing up like a girl version of Hellboy, but I will only be able to go for one day, so I am dressing up like Starbuck instead, which is fine. I think we will have a blast, and I am looking forward to it.

Much lurve, and hopefully I will update this blog sooner next time!

M

April 6, 2014

0 honey, let me sing you a song

A little bit of what I am loving lately.....

Party Hard by Andrew W.K.

Santa Monica by Everclear

It's About Time by Young the Giant

Hello Darling by PV Nova feat. Shaolin Temple

From Bump to Buzz by Tom Fletcher


Dance/Work Mashup by Britney Spears/Aaron Paul, Zen Freeman, Tom Neville


That last one swears a lot. But man! It gets me pumped at the gym. And having Aaron Paul as part of a song is wonderful.

Lurve,

M

April 3, 2014

2 I'm still alive

I know it's been a long time....but I can finally make a post because I finished my first quarter of PA school! It is crazy to me how fast time has flown by. I got the grades I wanted and I have a little break in-between quarters, so I am a pretty happy girl right now.

For my break, I came to visit my mother-in-law in California. Our first order of business: go shopping and then visit the Aquarium of the Pacific! I'm pretty glad I'm not the only one who totally loves aquariums and zoos.




Every time I go to the aquarium, I think of how much I wanted to be a marine biologist when I was younger, and how cool it would be to be one now. I'm definitely the weirdo who wishes I was the one telling people about the animals, or was researching the newest species of jellyfish.

Also, I can't get over how WEIRD things in the ocean look. Seriously, why do we keep looking for aliens when we have all these crazy underwater animals?



^^^my mother-in-law touching the sharks. I did too. They were strangely smooth and very meh about you petting them.

^^^I wish I had a better picture of the adorable otters they have, but man! those guys can book it.


^^^I got bit by a lorikeet because I was trying to move his/her food. They're sassy little munchkins.

Also, D got a new job for the state of New Mexico that he wanted, so we were pretty excited about that. Things are going really well for us, and I am really liking my program and my classmates. Not a lot more to tell us about, since D works and I study 90% of the time. The other 10% is dedicated to watching awesome TV shows (House of Cards guys. New favorite show of all time.), movies, and hanging out. We still haven't quite gotten used to New Mexico, or figured out things to do there yet. But we have figured out that they have some aaaamazing food. Seriously. I could recommend ten restaurants pretty easily.

Much lurve, and I'll try and post more soon!

M

January 9, 2014

1 the little engine that could

This is a rare, picture-less post. I just wanted to write today.

On Sunday, our little '98 Honda Civic died.

We knew it was coming. We have been saving up for months just in case it happened. We even cheerfully talked about new cars and colors, what we liked and what we didn't. But secretly, we both loved our little Honda Civic. It was reliably, it was little, and it was just what we needed.

The tragedy struck at six pm. We were on our way from Salt Lake City to Albuquerque. It is a long distance, but our car had made it from Salt Lake to Meridian, Idaho and back again a month or two earlier with no problems whatsoever. It was a pleasant surprise, and we took it as a sign of good things to come. Instead, what felt like late at night, I noticed that our car was heating up. I wouldn't have even noticed it if we didn't have a repair earlier in the year in which our mechanic told me to make sure our indicator never got higher than halfway. Our needle was above that, and climbing. We stopped the car. "Probably the oil," we agreed. We hadn't put in much, and it needed more.

D bravely decided to jog into the town closest while I waited with the car. We felt like town was two miles away. "Not far," we agreed. I read and worried in the car. D jogged and got cold. It was not ideal, and the town was not two miles away. It was seven. If it hadn't had been for the kindness of a highway patrolmen, I'm not sure what would have happened. But I'm glad he came. I'm glad he picked up D, took him to town to get oil, brought him back, and let us sit in his car to get warm when we figured out it wasn't the oil and we needed a tow truck.

Our car was towed into town and we slept at a nearby inn over night. We thought it might be an expensive repair, but we thought we could handle it. Worst case scenario, it would cost a lot more than we expected.

Guess what? It was the worst case scenario. Which wasn't "it will be expensive", but rather "your car is totaled". That news was the beginning of two horrible days, which involved driving an hour to simply get a rental car, saying goodbye to our little Civic, hurriedly looking for a new car in a new city, and moving everything into our new apartment.

Now that we are settled and everything is put away, I have more of an appreciation for what occurred. It was bad, yes. Not ideal, of course. But it could have been MUCH worse. The cop's timing was impeccable, the mechanic who helped us was incredibly kind and let us borrow a vehicle to get to the nearby town (Draper Towing & Repair in Monticello, thank you a thousand times over), our car at least got us that far, we were able to get to New Mexico safely, we got a wonderful new car, and we love our new apartment. Overall, I am so grateful for the many people who helped D and me. It seems like there are always kind people wherever you go, helping you when you feel like all you want to do is bawl hysterically.

Thank you, kind people. Keep being kind.

Lurve,

M

December 30, 2013

0 the news

This blog has, yet again, been woefully neglected. I only realized this when I spoke with D's grandma today, which in turn made me realize I have a lot to share on this little blog of mine!

First off, Christmas was wonderful. All of my siblings and their spouses were there, and it was so good to have everyone together.

^^Cutest niece in the whole world. And she's getting so big!

^^My sister-in-law made these awesome beanies for my brother and other sister-in-law.

^^Someone got spoiled for Christmas. Her very own, brand-new computer!



We are a boisterous, teasing bunch, but I sure do love my family. There are wonderful things I love about each one of them, and I'm so glad we got to get together, have meals and laugh together this year for Christmas. I suppose I was especially sentimental this Christmas because my family will live apart this upcoming year. My little brother lives in Idaho, my older brother is moving to California soon, and we're moving this week.

Why are you moving? you ask? BECAUSE I GOT ACCEPTED TO PHYSICIAN ASSISTANT SCHOOL AND IT STARTS IN JANUARY! That's right folks; my six year journey is over! My dream is coming true. I am part of the graduating class of 2016, and as a result D and I are going on a grand adventure to New Mexico, a place neither of us have ever been. I've been excited and nervous, happy and sick, stressed and calm about the whole thing. It's been a roller-coaster ride since June, when I submitted my CASPA application for graduate school. After five interview offers and three actual interviews, D and I are headed to a place where we won't know a soul. I quit my job with my amazing coworkers, and worked for the last time this Friday. Everything is going to change for us really soon.

I got accepted in October and should have blogged about it earlier, but we didn't decide for sure on a course of action until three weeks ago. Every time we made a decision, something would happen that made us question ourselves and look into other options. It was maddening. However, I am very grateful that I was accepted and that I can finally start working in a field I love.

I can't thank everyone enough for helping me get to the point I'm at in my life. As we were packing today, I felt this overwhelming feeling of gratitude for the help I've received. I've had so many good teachers, friends, coworkers, family members and even kind strangers help me along the way. My life has gotten to this point because of all of you. Thank you, thank you, thank you.

So, so much lurve,

M

November 24, 2013

1 washington, dc

I realized the other day that I still had quite a few photos from DC that I never shared. We did quite a bit on that trip, and I wanted to share a few more of my favorites....

^^^We were lucky that the government shut down ended right as we got there. There were very few people at the museums, so we were able to see almost everything we wanted to see. This is from the Smithsonian National Air and Space Museum, which was incredible.

^^^This was from the National World War II Memorial. Each golden star represents 100 Americans who died in the war, and there are 4,048 of them. The wall says, "Here we mark the price of freedom."


^^^Did you know this is actually the back of the White House? Crazy.


D's sister showed us around, and there were lots of other things I wish I had been able to capture with my camera. My absolute favorite was the Star-Spangled Banner in the National Museum of American History. It was huge and very beat up, but it's the flag that inspired the National Anthem. I couldn't believe we still had it, and that it was in such good shape, considering how old it is.

Also, I had never been back east before this trip, and now I can confidently say that I like it there. Granted, I haven't experienced the weather they are accustomed to, but I definitely had a great time with my in-laws.

Lurve,

M